Opting Out of Monogamy

Long-standing journalist Andrew Nolan – born one of the most monogamous men on the planet, but having successfully made his open marriage work for nearly a decade – here serves as a tour guide to the world of open relationships and polyamory. Rather than getting bogged down in the myriad of definitions for non-monogamy, Nolan focuses on the emotional tools and experiences one needs to make an open marriage succeed.

This is, in short, the book Nolan himself wanted to read as life events compelled him to transition to an open marriage – a work that details the potential glories, logistical hassles and emotional Burmese tiger traps one encounters on the path to non-monogamy, and empathizes with monogamous-minded people as they struggle to become something more through openness. Moreover, Opting Out of Monogamy strives to aid those who are open / polyamorous by nature to better appreciate and understand what their monogamous-leaning partners are experiencing.

Along the way, Nolan addresses all manner of serious and silly issues, such as “Should you even meet the metamours (your partner’s partners)?”, “Why am I not enough for my Lifemate?”, and “Will we all be slinking in and out of hotels wearing trenchcoats and fedoras?” This book also features interviews with a poly schoolteacher and mother, a kink instructor, a swinger, a practitioner of solo polyamory, a poly man who lives with five other people and a therapist who specializes in non-conventional relationships: Kate Loree, LMFT.